Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
