I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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