idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
