I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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