All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
