It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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