Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
