I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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