Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
