I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
