We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
