If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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