Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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