oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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