I wish they made helmets for livers.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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