You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
