Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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