Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
