"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
