i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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