haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
