Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
