it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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