She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
