Kiss
Puke
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
