I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
