I think I am morally bankrupt
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
