Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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