Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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