What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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