the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
