All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have aggressive nipples.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
