Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
