Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
