playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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