I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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