everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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