The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
