Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
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I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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