This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
