You work out of a Hotel?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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