1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ttyl tear gas
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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