I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
