I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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