Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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