I just cut my nipple shaving
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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