You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Let's paint friendship bongs
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize