CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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