She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Randomize
