Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
