I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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