Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Your mouth is God's brothel.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
