he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
