Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize