its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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